WVCardClub@googlemail.com

Cheltenham Festival at the Fox

2010-03-03T14:11:00.014Z

ON SITE BOOKIE EVERY DAY

COME AND DO YOUR BOLLOCKS!

Poker Monday 1st March 2010

2010-03-01T16:47:00.003Z

March 1st, £20 re-buy

Usual 8pm start - 2,000 starting chips, re-buys first three levels £20 for 2,000 mo'. Possible some sort of weird double top-up allowed to before the break. Come on down, bring the kids, then leave them in the car.

Re-buy any cards, re-buy any cards, re-buy any cards, any any any any, re-buy any cards, any suit any rank and old pile of wank, lose anything from £20 to one hundred graaaaaaand, re-buy any cards...

Poker tonight Feb 8th 2010

2010-02-08T15:09:00.002Z

Although we don't have a new league started up yet, poker at the Windrush Valley Card Club is alive and well on Mondays 8pm as usual.

Tonight will be a £60 freeze-out.

That is all. Good afternoon.

Christmas Party 21 December

2009-12-15T19:19:00.011Z

Right then, now then, now then, right then...the details of our Christmas Party and that: the total monies for this evening will be £50, or a bullseye if you're from the under classes. £20 for the meal and wines and what not and £30 for the game which I understand will be some sort of bounty game.

I should think kick off will be somewhere in the region of 7pm.

When I said these are the details, what I really meant was this is roughly what's happening. In my experience Christmas parties should have some wiggle room to accommodate last minute moments of inspiration.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Christmas Party 21st December

2009-12-15T15:31:00.004Z

People,

The Windrush Valley Card Club's Christmas Party will take place next Monday - December 21st. Details, like Ethiopian children, are thin on the ground (is that in poor taste? I've been on my own for two weeks so I've lost some social graces I'm afraid) - but anyway, details will emerge over the next 24 hours or so please keep checking back.

It'll be a turkey/beef dinner with many wines and other drinks followed by a bounty type freeze-out poker game.

Kick-off times and prices will be posted ASAP. Somewhere in the region of 7.3opm and between £50 - £80 I reckon.

Hope to see you all there, there really is no excuses for not celebrating the birth of the baby Jesus with us, unless you're an 'orrible evil islamic Turk or something of that sinister nature, but even if you are you should still come anyway.

Coochy-coo: The ickle baby Jesus 2009 years ago.

Final Game Chip Counts

2009-09-02T00:22:00.005+01:00

Chip counts for the final game next Monday (September 6th) are as follows:

Chris Peros..3,750
Gideon Long..2,950
Paul Porter..2,575
Matthew Bowden..2,400
John Salmon..2,350
Paul Peros..2,125
Mark Waites..2,075
Kathryn Brown..2,000
Jim Gladwin..1,950
Andy Perrie..1,675
Nick Dobson..1,625
Joe Azipuru..1,550
Little Dick..1,450
Big Dick..1,425
James Norden..1,350
Jason Oliver..1,200

Each player will also have the option of buying 5,000 more raising chips for £50.

Kick off will be 8.10pm - It'll be a black tie affair unless you wear something more casual.

il buono il brutto il cattivo

2009-08-25T16:56:00.003+01:00

Here is the final league table. Chris Peros is our Champion and why not. League points will be converted into raising chips on a ratio of 25 chips per league point. A further 5,000 raising chips will be available to each finalist for the very reasonable sum of £50.

By my calculations which I've just done on my fingers we should have somewhere in the region of £1500 to play for if everyone claims the extra chips. You could buy 15 awesome Space Lego sets for that so it's worth playing for.

The final shootout will take place on Monday September 7th - kick-off 8.10pm.

Two becomes one

2009-08-18T03:29:00.004+01:00

Our penultimate game of the season was a bruising encounter one which none of us who played in it or witnessed it will forget until at least tomorrow lunch time.

Our final game will be next Monday's £30 freeze-out with buffet (£40 buy-in) after which we will have a week off. The Grand Finale will be played on September 7th. Only 9 buy-ins required to qualify for the game - each league point converted into 25 raising chips. An additional 5,000 chips can be bought on the night for a bullseye, two ponies, or just £50. IT'S UP TO YOU.

The Final Countdown

2009-08-16T02:56:00.004+01:00

With just two games of the season remaining it's all getting so exciting I'm literally shitting tension. Who people, who will be the 2009 Windrush Valley Card Club Champion? Will Chris of Peros' chip lead be enough to see him manouever his way through the grand final field? Or will we see one of the shorties David their way past Peros' Goliath with a pokering equivalent of a sharp pebble to the eye?

In your eye you big hairy Arab bastard

Andy Perrie, Pete Spedding and Nick Dobson are one game away from qualification; Jason Oliver will need to play both remaining games.

League update and crossword solution

2009-08-04T17:43:00.003+01:00

A seven letter word for "attics" is of course Garrets.

Monday's game was an horrific carnage involving draws and out-draws not seen since Wild Bill Hickock was new to the game. Andy Perrie was the last man standing and this means with only three games left in the season nothing really exciting has happened as far as the league table is concerned. But this is it anyway:

As we speak we have 13 confirmed runners for the Final game in September with another 6 runners who can still make it. Those runners be: Neil of Gladding, Paul of Lazenbury, Nick of Dobson - who has not been seen since the Rosè challenge and we have heard tell of serious concern amongst his family members for his welfare, Jason of Oliver, Pete of Spedding and Monday's victor - Andy of Perrie.

If anyone has seen Nick Dobson please contact us immediately.

£5 re-buy tonight

2009-08-03T14:43:00.004+01:00

We're in our last month of the season people. Tonight's £5 re-buy is the first of our four remaining games and by lord it promises to be a ripsnorter. The league winner market (without Chris Peros) on Betfair is a traders dream. It's all just so bally exciting it's playing havoc with my stress incontinence.

See you all this evening. Anyone wishing to know what a ripsnorter is can see me before the game.

Season Finale, League table and any other bidness

2009-07-28T12:03:00.004+01:00

Season Finale and League Table update inc. July 27th £30 freeze-out

With my deepest apologies for tardiness, here is the updated league table. We have four games remaining before the Grand Finale which will be held the Monday following the August bank holiday which, if my calendar is anything like yours, will be Monday September 4th.

In order to qualify for the final you must have played at least 9 games. League points will be converted into chips using the Duckworth Lewis method, players will also have the option of purchasing 5,000 further chips for a measly £50.

Any other business

A meeting was held in my house last night between me and my conscience and it was decreed that under no circumstances will the player Richard J. Stevenson, aka, "Little Dick," aka "Golden Delicious," aka "WarBwastard," aka, "Asno" and all other aliases known or unknown, be permitted to partake in any sports or proposition wagering § or card games ‡ where English monies are staked, while under the influence of Rosè.

Any attempts by said player to place wagers or partake in card games where English monies have been or can be staked will result in the player being thrown in the river for his own good whether he can swim or not and whether he's wearing his best clothes or not.

‡- Card games in this instance is a blanket term for any game or games known at this time or unknown which involve one or a number of card or cards of a standard deck of playing card or multiple decks.

§ - Proposition wagering in this instance include all pub games, for example: Spoof, Liars Dice and olive eating competitions and certainly anything that involves darts..and all other games known or unknown - also any project, task, idea, assertion or statement that might reasonably lead to the loss of money or monies and dignity through speculation, gambling or forecasting.

Motion carried.

Tonight's game July 27th

2009-07-27T12:50:00.001+01:00

Tonight's game will be a £30 freeze-out - with buffet at the break. £40 buy-in - 5,000 starting chips. There will be a moment's silence before the game begins as my head still hurts from last week's Rosè challenge.

Two sips of Rosè and her game goes to pieces

2009-07-22T13:42:00.004+01:00

Kathryn hides her face in shame after surrendering what appeared to be an unassailable lead while an looker, oblivious to the humiliation, falls asleep.

Dragon's Den BBC2 tonight 9pm

2009-07-22T13:17:00.004+01:00

JJ Hazen on Dragon's Den tonight asking for £65,000 to stake him in poker tournaments. Should be interesting. Don't fancy his chances.

The blood of Christ almighty

2009-07-22T09:50:00.005+01:00

It's now 9.50am on Wednesday. I just woke up. I got home and went to bed at 9am Tuesday. Dear Lord our God, if wine be the blood of Christ your son, then he needs a fucking transfusion. It's Holy alright, holy fucking shit!!

Thanks to a few sociable glasses of Rosè, I've lost a day and a half of my life. Who knows what I might have achieved in that time? The last thing I remember is busting out of the cash-game with 6 high and a little bit of poo coming out from laughing as Jimbo announced a near stampede had occurred when Kathryn had gone off to lick her wound.

I haven't had a hang-over this brutal since Vegas when I was in such poor shape I looked in the mirror and could see through me. I'm afraid I have no idea who won the tournament on Monday, or who was in it so I can't update the league table.

If anyone has seen my telephone and a grey hiking sock please let me know. I'm officially on the wagon now for at least six months. My the Lord have mercy on my soul.

Amen.

League table as of 13th July

2009-07-20T01:10:00.000+01:00

League table and stuff

2009-07-13T04:18:00.002+01:00

With only six or seven games left in the season, I forget which, it's all getting very very very interesting at the top of the table with Chris Peros ahead but some other people fairly close. Who will win out? Who, who?

In other news, the £5 re-buy went ahead last week, but it may be changed next month as it's a bit shit. I shall try and offer up more than a few hours notice if it does change.

Sport now, England were lucky as fuck to escape with a draw in the first test match and ruin my bet, but had to resort to underhand time wasting tactics by constantly bringing their physio onto the pitch who had disgusting man boobs.

Finally the weather, it was a bit chilly earlier.

Game change this evening - a taste of paradise

2009-07-06T14:34:00.002+01:00

There's been a military style coup! Consequently, tonight's £5 re-buy will almost certainly be replaced with a £30 freeze-out with a £10 bounty. Your buy-in will therefore be £42. Starting chips of 5,000. You will receive a £10 bounty for every player you bust.

Apologies for the short notice, but these uprisings typically arrive with little or no notice. We feel it's for the best though. Good luck with all your bets.

Good Lord!!

2009-07-02T16:28:00.006+01:00

Congratulations to Twiz are in order as Keltic Lord won today at Perth leading from start to finish.

And they're off..and Keltic Lord is prominent

19 fences later - Winner!

Celebrating with a bucket of water to the cock. The horse not Twiz.
Maybe Twiz too actually, off camera though thankfully.

League table as of right now

2009-06-30T04:15:00.002+01:00

Big game tonight

2009-06-29T14:15:00.001+01:00

£100 freeze-out - 10,000 chips, 30 minute clock - 8pm start - and stuff.

Stocks in the money

2009-06-26T23:55:00.006+01:00

Stocks going very well in the $1500 PLO hi/lo - currently 75,000 in chips - 16th from remaining 36 (762 runners) left and now well in the money.

Follow his progress here: Event 48 $1,500 PLO hi/lo

Update: Ouch!

Update: Stocks finishes 28th, unfortunately one spot below a prize money jump, but great performance. All those nights trying to beat the Fox cash game have paid off.

June 29th - "the big game"

2009-06-22T02:09:00.003+01:00

Since we have five Monday's this month we thought we'd have a £100 freeze-out next Monday (29th) and why not indeed?

P'raps if this buy-in is too much for most pockets in these frugal times we can arrange some £10 SnG satellites for the event?

If I can remind myself I'll shall raise this very issue tomorrow night. In fact I'll write it down now so I don't forget.

Good evening.

Juuuune 22nd game - £30 freeze-out

2009-06-22T01:34:00.001+01:00

This evening we will host a £30 freeze-out with a £40 buy-in, 5,000 starting chips and a buffet fit for a king; a king who likes curry and chips, but a king nonetheless.

Come on down and grab a chair, it won't be the same if you're not there.

There may be some poetry readings after the game.

Monday's game - June 15th

2009-06-14T14:33:00.003+01:00

I will not be able to attend this cornucopia of poker so there won't be as much value as usual, but pop along anyway, bring the kids, there's fun for the whole family.

League table inc. June 8th £20 +£20

2009-06-14T14:29:00.000+01:00

Juuuuuuuuuuuuune

2009-06-07T21:47:00.006+01:00

I just noticed it is now June and with June comes five Mondays. FIVE I TELLS YA! I'm afraid I've been terribly remiss by excluding our plans for the fifth Monday. Better late than never though, particularly when womens periods are concerned am I right or am I right or am I right? Right, sooooooo, Monday June 29th will be a deepstack £100 freeze-out.

Now we recognise that our whole mantra for this season was all about accommodating this Gordon Brown induced credit crunch into our buy-ins - so between now and the event you'll be able to pay in installments. Just see me on game nights and I'll keep your payments nice and safe until the 29th. You can trust me I'm a Doctor...or at least I watch M*A*S*H every night which is the same.

So anyway yes, the chips will be 10,000 in number and the clock 30 in minutes. Much play there will be, much play. Budget for a late night though. Any questions, please email in - not that one about where babies come from though - or see me on any given Monday.

The end.

League table inc. 25th May £30 freeze-out

2009-05-26T03:05:00.001+01:00

Bank Holiday Monday game

2009-05-25T05:21:00.004+01:00

It's a bank holiday, but why not forgo the traditional visit to a DIY store and the viewing of the World's Strongest Man competition on BBC1 and head over to the Fox for a friendly game of poker instead?

Tonight we have a £30 freeze-out with a difference..the difference being it'll cost you £40! But though, for that extra £10 you get 5,000 raising chips, a buffet and a pokering experience unique to the Windrush Valley Card Club. Hours of fun for all the family aged over 18.

What's wrong, skeeeeered?

League table as of May 18th

2009-05-19T16:42:00.003+01:00

There was no poker on Monday, but whatever game was played was won by Ean Branston. Next week will be a return to playing proper poker with a £30 freeze-out with 5,000 starting chips and no calling substantial raises because you just sort of feel like it.

League table inc. May 11th game.

2009-05-13T21:54:00.002+01:00

Monday 11th game

2009-05-11T17:22:00.001+01:00

Bit late with this, but tonight's game will be a £20 freeze-out with an optional re-buy or add on. See the panel on the left for details.

8:00pm start.

I will be updating the league after tonight's game. Next week's game will a £10 re-buy.

That is all.

League table

2009-04-15T22:07:00.002+01:00

Next Monday's game will be a £10 re-buy. Kick-off at 8pm. £22 buy-in - 2,000 starting chips. £10 re-buys (2,000chips) for 3 x 30 minutes levels, then 20 minute clock. Cash games available as the tournament breaks up - No Limit Hold 'em 25p-50p blinds.

And we're off

2009-04-10T19:17:00.005+01:00

New season same sort of result.

Chris of Peros was our winner, succeeding despite sporting a rather sinister goatee. The league table will appear when we've played a few more games.

Despite being a bank holiday next Monday we will have a game on. We don't think Jesus will mind. If anyone does encounter any fire and brimstone on the way to the club we can only apologise.

Our game will be a £20 + £20 freeze-out. Starting chips of 3,000, with the option of a further 3,000 any time during the first three levels. We kick-off as usual at 8:00pm (on time this time) and we hope to see all the new faces once again.

Our league will be running for 18 weeks. In order to qualify for our final game big game in September, you will need to have played in at least 9 games.

Each point accumulated throughout the season will be converted into 25 chips. Everyone will also have the opportunity on the night of buying a further 5,000 chips for £50. Clear? Good. See you all on Monday. New players very welcome.

Season opener tonight

2009-04-06T17:32:00.006+01:00

It's time people. New season kicks off tonight with a gentle £5 re-buy. No Limit Texas Hold 'em - 8:00pm start. We're adding £200 to the prize-pool and offering up a free buffet too.

I simply can't imagine a more exciting Monday evening that doesn't involve Felicity Kendall slightly drunk and desperate to remove her muddy clothing. So anyway yes, splendid woo, jolly good.

New season - First night

2009-03-22T02:33:00.005Z

Here we go then people. Our new season will kick-off on April 6th with a £5 re-buy and 8:00pm start. Details of this game and our other games can be found on the side bar and also the new league structure.

For our first event, we'll be adding £200 to the prize pool and there will also be a free buffet.

Apparently we've been Face-Booked too now. So if you're a Face-Bookee and want to keep up to date with our comings and goings then please search for us under the name "Windrush Valley Card Club."

See you all on April 6th.

Change we can believe in

2009-03-17T02:44:00.006Z

The Cheltenham Festival game was chopped three ways, between Jimbo, Chris and myself - Dick of Little, although it's been widely accepted that I played the most awesome and so for season 2008-09, that, as they say, is all she wrote. I do so love a happy ending.

The new season's details have yet to be thrashed out but we're due to kick off again on Monday April 6th. Our whole league structure and buy-ins are being adjusted to accommodate the financial mess America and Gordon Brown have imposed on everyone.

Essentially, we need a change people...a change we can believe in. With this in mind we'll be looking to provide games with a cheaper buy-in and our cash games will now be made available to those who aren't willing to finance their buy-ins with the sale of a kidney.

The tentative schedule is as follows:

We want to run four games - each game will be played on the same Monday every month.

1st Monday of the month - £5 re-buy

2nd Monday of the month - £25 + £25 freeze-out

3rd Monday of the month - £10 re-buy

4th Monday of the month - £30 freeze-out with buffet

Cash games will begin as the tournament breaks up and will be Texas Hold 'em with 25p-50p or 50p-£1 blinds with a maximum buy-in of £100.

There will be a re-structured league also. Hopefully the details will be finalised later this week.

Please keep checking the website, but in the meantime a German rock ballad.

Club meeting on Sunday

2009-03-06T02:28:00.003Z

A meeting to discuss changes to the game choices and buy-ins will be held this Sunday before the Cheltenham game at 4pm. Please attend if you can, even if you are not intending to play the Cheltenham game so we can have as much input as possible to make future games more appealing.

Satellites for Sunday's main event are available from 2pm so why not make an afternoon of it? There's nothing on telly.

Cheltenham game start time change

2009-03-03T19:21:00.004Z

The start time for Sunday's (March 8th) Cheltenham festival game will now be 5:00pm instead of 2:30pm, this is so everyone has time to get back from church.

The admin fee for the game has been reduced also to £10 from £20. Still a £250 total buy-in but with £240 instead of £230 for the prize-pool.

Satellite's for this main event can be arranged from 2:00pm the same afternoon. Five handed tables £50 freeze-outs.

High Stakes Poker Season 5 Episode 1

2009-03-02T06:10:00.001Z

No shows for the play-off game

2009-02-27T06:11:00.004Z

So far Paul Peros and Frank Hogarty are unable to play next Monday's end of season play-off game. Big Dick and Richard Taylor are the next in line to take their places. Not sure if I have Richard Taylor's email so if anyone bumps into him please let him know.

If anyone else cannot make it please let us know asap. League places and chip counts for the play-off game can be found here. Thanking you please.

League Play-Off Game Monday 2nd March

2009-02-24T19:03:00.004Z

Next Monday March 2nd will be the league play-off game. Four seats for the Cheltenham Festival game are up for grabs. The fifth place finisher will be awarded a cash prize somewhere in the region of an awesome £15, which we suggest should not be spent all at once.

If you have not finished in the top 16 but would like to play the Cheltenham game you can buy in directly on the day, March 8th with a 2:30pm kick-off for £230+20. We'll have a 40 minute clock and 10,000 starting chips.

The top 16 players who have qualified for the play-off (with chips counts) are shown below: 25 chips per point. If you have qualified but know you cannot make the game please let us know as soon as possible so we can register another player.

Monday's game £10 re-buy satellite

2009-02-21T20:53:00.004Z

Monday's game will be a £10 re-buy. It's a satellite tournament into the £230+£20 Cheltenham Festival game on March 8th at 2.30pm.

One seat per £250 obviously, the remaining monies given as a cash prize. 8.05pm start as usual. Well worth having a stab at this as the Cheltenham game usually offers a pretty decent prize pool.

Final league placings and stuff

2009-02-17T03:56:00.004Z

Due to a miscalculation with the schedule, Monday night's game was in fact the last game of our abbreviated season. Jimbo of Norden was the winner beating Paul of Peros and that as they say, is that.

Next Monday (February 23rd) will be a satellite for the Cheltenham Festival £250 freeze-out to be held on Sunday March 8th at 2.30pm. The satellite tournament will be a £10 re-buy NLHE starting at the usual time of 8:05pm. One seat entered into the Cheltenham game per £250. Bring many many £10 notes, it's for the best.

The end of season play-off game will be held the following Monday on March 2nd. So then, Gideon Long is our new Champion. Points totals and chip counts for the play-off game for the Cheltenham Festival tournament are as follows.

Thank you to everyone who has played this season, keep checking this blog for details of the new season which should start late March or early April.

Feb 16th game

2009-02-15T23:13:00.003Z

Monday's game will be a £20 Texas Hold 'em re-buy. Three 30 minute levels for the re-buys; 2,000 chips; twenty minute clock for the freeze-out period.

I've done some equations and estimate the game will end around 12.37:21am.

Next game - Monday February 16th and league table

2009-02-12T01:59:00.006Z

The next game on February 16th will be a Texas Hold 'em £20 re-buy - 2,000 chips - 3 x 30 minutes levels for re-buy period, 20 minutes thereafter. It won't be snowing next week they tell me so hope to see more runners.

Last weeks game was contested by 14 hearty souls, sort of, accumulating a healthy £720 prize pool shared between me and two farmers.

Result

1. Little Dick £360
2. Farmer Pickles £220
3. Farmer Jim £140

League table

League table inc. 02/02/09 £40 freeze-out

2009-02-04T16:20:00.003Z

Monday's tournament was played out by a hard-core 13 runners who weren't going to let a few centimeters of crystallised water stand in the way of a roaring good night of poker. Mark Waites was the eventual winner and why not?

Next Monday's game is a £10 re-buy. Pot Limit Omaha for a change though and hopefully the snow will melt in time to allow the delicate lambs to come along who couldn't cope with the snow.

Monday's game - Feb. 2nd

2009-01-30T04:56:00.003Z

First Monday of the month £40 freeze-out - 4,000 chips - 3 x 30 minute levels then 20 min. clock. Food night so total buy-in will be £50.

February's game are listed on the side bar. Good day to you.

League Table inc. "beginners" game 26/01/09

2009-01-27T19:36:00.005Z

In lieu of any actual new players, Monday's tournament was played vicariously through the minds of the beginner players who didn't show up. Some awesomely donkish moves were made consistently through the game including a beauty by myself which was good enough to see the Salmon fished from the tournament and viciously cursing me and my extended family from the 2 seat of the cash table within seconds. Hee hee happy days!

Matt Bowden was the eventual victor, winning a penalty shoot-out against myself after a 60-40 chop of the monies, which reflected his chip lead at the heads-up stage. Next week's game will be a £40 freeze-out with a £50 buy-in due to the scrumptious buffet available with all four food groups represented, give or take two or three of them.

Final Result

1. Matt Bowden
2. Richard "little dick" Stevenson
3. Simon Stocken
4. Richard Davids

League Table

Also, there will be a backgammon tournament held on Friday February 6th. More details to follow.

A backgammon board yesterday

Game next week and league table

2009-01-20T20:14:00.003Z

Next week's game will be a £25 freeze-out with one optional £25 re-buy or add-on, with 2,500 starting chips. This re-buy/add-on (for another 2,500 chips) will be available at any time during the re-buy period (2x40 minute levels) regardless of stack size or can be taken at the end of the second level before the break.

Hopefully we will see some new players for this one so do try and make an effort to bring someone. If you have no friends there are various websites you can join to meet new and exciting people who share the same interests as you. You have a week so plenty of time.

League table inc. £50 F/O 12/01/09

2009-01-14T17:56:00.000Z

Games in January

2009-01-07T21:07:00.003Z

January 12th - £50 - 5,000 starting chips, 3x30 minute levels, then 20 minute clock for remainder of tournament.

January 19th - £20 re-buy - 2,000 starting chips. 2,000 per re-buy. Re-buy period will be 2x40 minute levels then 20 minute clock after.

January 26th - £25 freeze-out beginners night - 4,000 starting chips, 3x30 minute levels, then 20 minute clock for remainder of tournament.

All games will be Texas hold 'em and begin at 8.05pm

£40 freeze-out report January 5th

2009-01-06T03:02:00.005Z

The first tournament of the new year was a roaring success with unprecedented numbers having something better to do and not showing up, leaving just 13 runners to contest the £40 freeze-out.

It was standing room only unless you wanted to sit down

A car crash hand after only a few minutes reduced the field by a quarter. With blinds at 25/50 yours truly came in for a raise making it 175 to go with the Ace-10 of diamonds. Called by Paul of Peros, Twiz of Porter and someone else, I forget who...Joe of Azipuru I think.

We saw a flop of 3d-4s-5d. Checked to me and I therefore make it 350 and why not as I have the nut flush draw and gut-shot straight with two overs. But wait though, wait….Paul of Peros announces re-raise!!! Fuck my life I says. He makes it another 1,000 to go. Twiz of Porter calls the 1,350!! Gasp!

I decide cause I’m having problems with my patience just these last few decades of my life, that I’m shoving my remain stack in and it’s another 3,500-ish to go if they like it, I know Paul has a set, but I feel like I'm due an out-draw. Call that if you don't like money suckers!! Called in both spots.

D'oh!

Although there’s a wee bit of betting on the side between Paul and Twiz, it all goes in on the turn which was the 5 of cock-sucking diamonds. It completes my Ace-high flush, but it also fills Paul of Peros up as he’s holding pocket 4's. Twiz of Porter also had a flush draw (8-6 diamonds) and that was all she wrote for the two of us.

Paul of Peros then went on to manoeuvre his way through the rest of the field to take first prize in what was in his words, "the greatest moment of my life," which he insisted we capture on camera so he can show his mam.

Paul told us afterwards, “I’ve never felt so alive. I know it’s only the first week of January, but this has made my year. It’s always been a dream of mine to win a poker tournament so what a wonderful beginning to the year. I’m quite emotional really, sorry..I just can’t believe it..no but seriously, thanks to everyone at the Winrush Valley Card Club...yes..but no I mean…so yes, fucking brilliant.”

fucking brilliant

Next week’s game is a £50 freeze-out. It could happen to you too. Why not come along? Bring your friends, bring your Mam too if she’s free and you too could also feel like Paul, fucking brilliant.

* * *

Money places

1. Paul Peros £250
2. Matthew Bowden £150
3. The Salmon £100

* * *

League Table inc. January 5th £40 freeze-out

2009-01-06T00:32:00.000Z

Game on Monday January 5th

2009-01-02T22:32:00.004Z

I haven't heard noffin from the powers that be, but I'm assuming next Monday will be the standard £40 freeze-out plus £10 for food as it's the first Monday of the month, so a £50 total buy-in.

I usually get messages by carrier pigeon but this time around someone's obviously intercepted it and eaten it in these times of hardship and woe.

Abingdon Christmas game £10 re-buy report

2008-12-23T02:55:00.008Z

An impressive and accomplished gathering of team Fox and me arrived for the £10 re-buy Christmas game in Abingdon last Sunday. Considering we do tend to win wherever in the world we go in large numbers, I felt certain a Fox player would take down the tournament and cement our claim as pound for pound the most awesomest concentration of pokering talent in the whole of the galaxy.

Matt was in fine form winning a bottle of Vodka for the most re-buys (28). Every player received a consolation prize after busting out,....within twenty minutes of the start of the freeze-out stage the cash game was 8 handed and full of sorry looking Fox players with nothing but a box of chocolates, a few wine bottles and a yard of Jaffa cakes piled up in the corner next to the cash table to show for their efforts. Not the finest hour of the Windrush Valley Card Club to be fair.

A home away from home: Matt, Chris, Pete and Keiron wondering what might have been.

Meanwhile with only myself, Kathryn and Lazers flying the Fox flag the tournament was deep into crap shoot territory. Shove when you get the chance or fold was as sophisticated as it got and with pocket Jacks in the small blind I did just that only to run into Kings so hard I knocked myself out. Then there were two.

Lazers with plenty of tits...I mean chips

Unlucky for some, Kathryn eventually sucummbed in 13th place and Lazers became the last bastion of hope for the reputation of the Fox. Back on the cash table, Keiron was hitting straight flushes every other hand and despite significant verbal abuse was still sporting a hair-cut which was in fact three hair cuts in one. I didn't want to be the first to say it, but it's no wonder he only attracts ghostly ginger terrors with a barnet like that.

Kathryn wondering what the hell I'm taking pictures of

Back in the tournament Lazers was eventually swallowed up by the sky high blinds (I'm guessing here, I don't know how he eventually busted) but an excellent 6th place finish was about as good as we could have expected given 80% of our representatives had busted out some hours ago. Well played him for salvaging the reputation of the club sort of. Kind of.

It was not our finest evening out, but I like to think that given a decent structure that doesn't see almost everyone in shove or fold mode from the fourth blind level, we are more than likely going to clean up in most places.

A game of bingo is fun at Christmas and it was a great evening, so thank you to Nick for running the show, but I don't think we need to feel bad about our efforts. There are extenuating circumstances. Plus there was some distractions too, which would have compromised any red blooded male's concentration. You can read more about that on my blog.

At this point I'd like to extend to you and your families my best wishes for Christmas and the New Year. Good luck with all your bets.

Christmas Party update

2008-12-16T17:12:00.003Z

It's possible Matt might have won the tournament, I just found these pictures on my phone.

Christmas party

2008-12-16T16:40:00.003Z

I've been trying to piece together the small flash backs and recollections from last night's Christmas party to put together some sort of tournament report, but alas I can't even remember playing in it, let alone tell you who won. Someone must have put something in my whiskey cause all I can remember is playing chess, or at least moving the pieces about and losing. I also saw some exciting footwear and I think Big Dick did pretty well in the cash game.

Big Dick celebrates his cash game success

As a general rule of thumb though I think the less you can recall about an evening the more enjoyable it must have been so I think it's fair to say the evening was a success. I don't know about you, but I've never felt more alive than when I wake up in the middle of the afternoon naked from the waist down with a police woman's hat covering up my modesty. Splendid stuff.

Moving on now, the schedule for January's games is yet to be decided, I think January 5th will be the next league night, although I'm sure a cash game or two will be available in the interim to anyone who can't wait that long.

Merry Christmas and God bless us everyone. Let's finish with a song.

Christmas Party - December 15th

2008-12-09T21:11:00.003Z

Next Monday is our Christmas Party,

For a measly £40 you'll get a two course Christmas dinner with quaff-tastic free wine, and a £20 Dealers-Choice freeze-out with a £5 bounty. Tell your friends people, the more the merrier. If you don't have any friends, tell someone else's.

Please ring the pub: 01451 844385 to book it.

League Table inc. 08/12/08

2008-12-09T21:07:00.001Z

Reminder!

2008-12-06T20:49:00.001Z

Monday's (December 8th) £100 freeze-out will start at 7:00pm

Very very very important stuff

2008-12-02T03:07:00.007Z

Regarding up coming games people;

7PM START DECEMBER 8TH

Next week will be a £100 freeze-out with a 7pm start instead of the usual 8pm. This game was initially advertised as a double chance, but that would mean giving everyone 20,000 chips and we don't have the time for this (as some of you work apparently) without making it a crap shoot.

Soooooo,....just to reiterate cause I won't tell you again - the game on Monday December 8th will be a 7pm start with 10,000 chips and a £100 buy-in (plus £4) and it'll be a straight freeze-out. We'll almost certainly have antes too in order to guarantee an end to the tournament before 3am. Are we clear? No, OK I'll remind you later in the week.

* * *

DEALERS CHOICE GAME AND CHRISTMAS DINNER
DECEMBER 15TH

The Christmas party will be on December 15th. The game will be a £20 freeze-out with a £5 bounty and the two course dinner will be £15. All this people for a total price of only £40!! The club will provide Mulled Wine on arrival, and free wine at dinner, as well as an extra bounty on seat 1 of each table. Great value credit-crunch dinner and poker tournament.

Please do come along and support your club, you won't get a better and cheaper evening out for the price. Please either let me know or ring the pub: 01451 844385 to book it, and let us know if you would like Turkey, Beef or Veggie.

League table inc. 01/12/08 £40 freeze-out

2008-12-02T03:05:00.002Z

Next game - £40 freeze-out - December 1st

2008-11-29T18:37:00.006Z

Monday's game on December 1st will be a £40 freeze-out. As it's the first Monday of the month it'll be a food night so total buy-in will be £50 or a bulls-eye in common speak.

Let's hope for more than the hard-core 12 runners who showed up for the £20 Omaha re-buy last week which was played out in arctic conditions - the first ever re-buy tournament to also be a freeze-out at the same time... eventually won by Gideon, who without a doubt has sold his soul to the devil in my honest opinion.

The card room was a bit nippy if the truth be told

With so few runners the final table was settled before the first break. Matt and myself were out towards the end of the re-buy period and Big Dick busted out on the last hand before the break and was last seen telling Kathryn he was going out for a walk and maybe some time.

The final table was basically just a bunch of hands where chips were moved from player to player until Gideon inevitably caught the hands he needed to bust everyone.

Meanwhile at the other end of the card room the cash game players were all huddled together using each others body heat to remain conscious wondering whether or not Matt was still alive and weighing up the moral consequences of eating him if it came to that.

League Table inc. 24/11/08 £20 Omaha re-buy

2008-11-29T18:35:00.001Z

One of a kind

2008-11-22T09:00:00.001Z

Today is the tenth anniversary of the death of Stuey 'the kid' Ungar. They say he was the best poker player ever. Not sure how he'd have fared in one of our £10 re-buys with Big Dick to his left, but it's clear he could play a bit. His auto-biography "one of a kind" is well worth a read. Inspirational but very sad also.

Anyway, if you've got a few minutes the videos below are the from the final table of the 1997 WSOP main event. His third and final success.

League table inc. 17/11/08

2008-11-18T14:08:00.004Z

League table inc. 10/11/08

2008-11-11T12:29:00.000Z

A shining example of poker

2008-11-11T06:00:00.011Z

When the unrelenting horror of Keiron Baker’s hack and slash style of play is unleashed on an unsuspecting poker tournament it becomes something akin to a scene from the Shining.

A surreal, murderous encounter played out between realities with diminutive ghostly figures looking on who have no apparent reason for being there. Had Stanley Kubrick been a poker director, Keiron would have been his kind of Johnny and a Fox £10 re-buy his kind of game.

There was an eerie feel to the evening - the cold dank atmosphere, the leaking roof, the smell of rotting apple crumble - as if the room had become a physical manifestation of Keiron’s subconscious.

After his victory last week, which has yet to be explained by the lab boys, a repeat appeared to be a possibility after a typically volatile re-buy period saw him enter the freeze-out stage with an above average stack, but became an almost inevitability mid-way through the tournament with approximately most of the chips in play stacked in front of him and everyone else reduced to all-in or fold poker.

"All-in and no play makes Keiron a dull boy"

It’s difficult to explain how without complex equations and a truly world class psychiatrist, but none of those things were available to those confronted with this pink shirted leviathan. Some truly creative play saw him bust Milo (8-8) and Wino (9-10 suited) in one hand when his Ace-8 somehow built itself into a straight. A few hands later a rivered deuce saw him bust Chris’ Ace-7 with a dominated Ace-2.

By this time Keiron was consumed with bloodlust fever and rapidly began loosing his sanity, his catatonic ginger railbird stared on lustfully and I fought hard to back swallow some sick as preparations were made for the final table.

With nine live bodies remaining, the final table began

As the final table began and a slew of bodies littered the card room, one expected the slaughter to continue. Not so much tentative stabs at pots from Keiron, as wild hacks with a metaphorical axe. But no!

One or two early blows to his stack saw confusion begin to set in and weaknesses exposed. Like poor mentalist Johnny scratching around in the deep snow howling at the moon desperately searching for his son in order to finish him off, Keiron, completely incoherent and delusional now, lost his way too.

Through sheer good chance however he was able to shove chips into a couple of pots at the right moments to eliminate a few players and although barely conscious by now he was able to make it to heads-up with a chip lead.

The final confrontation was not a long one however. Some misdirection from Richard Taylor and soon the chip lead changed hands and the final hand saw him take down the tournament with the worst hand, when he paired his Jack (ironically) and his five. Keiron, cold decked, was finally frozen-out.

League Table inc. 03/11/08

2008-11-06T21:40:00.001Z

League Table inc. £50 +1+1 27/10/08

2008-10-28T03:42:00.001Z

Attenzione!

2008-10-21T15:30:00.011+01:00

Now that we've gone electronic, there is no excuse for dilly dallying about and having start times for our games ranging from 8:15pm to somewhere close to 9:00pm. Consequently I have no choice but to become poker direction's equivalent to Benito Mussolini, the Fox squadristi if you will...if he can get his trains running on time I ought to be able to get a few poker tournaments going on time too.

Therefore my people, from Monday the seating plans will be posted at 8:00pm and the games will begin at 8:05pm on the dot! even if I'm the only one in the room. I will allow moochers into the tournaments up to 8:15pm, but anyone arriving after that who hasn't had the common decency to ring first will not only be denied entry to our wonderful games, but also taken out to the beer garden, tied up with piano wire and beaten savagely.

Tournament report £5 re-buy annual cup

2008-10-21T03:37:00.005+01:00

I can't fully articulate the nature of the carnage I witnessed this evening. They say a picture is worth a thousands words however...

League table inc. 20/10/08 Annual Cup

2008-10-21T02:32:00.001+01:00

Annual Cup tonight

2008-10-20T16:14:00.002+01:00

Tonight is the Annual Cup II. It was previously advertised as a £10 re-buy, but in fact it's a £5 re-buy with a £5 bounty. For that I can only apologise.

Tournament Report £20 re-buy October 13th

2008-10-14T03:35:00.001+01:00

£20 re-buy

October 13th.
18 runners

GERMANY 2-1 RUSSIA

Only 18 runners for this one, but a decent prize pool nonetheless mostly thanks to Matt’s contribution of approximately 80 re-buys. “Credit crunches, I shit ‘em,” was his mantra and from the off his raising chips were in the saddle and rode us all like bitches…all except the Big Dick in the two seat who rode him back. Matt was last seen out by the river staring at the sky talking to a cloud.

With about £1,700 in monies to play for the proper poker began after the break with a disgusting series of events from my point of view. With nothing much in the way of cards coming my way I decided to offer up some chips with a hand that was nothing more than a poker objet trouvé - a classic nay school boy error. The flop giving me top pair was enough for me to shove my remaining goo in the middle only for Jonathon of Miles to insta-call with a slow played set of threes. Bastard! A perfectly executed coup de théâtre sent me to the sidelines with empty pockets and an empty heart. After you with the cloud Matt.

A bunch of stuff quickly ensued on the other tables I wasn’t much interested in or paying any attention to and in no time at all we were down to a final table of nine with Joey of Aizpura our chip leader with a stack of approximately millions.

The early exchanges were frantic, probably, I don’t know, my view was obscured by Lucky Jim’s right hand, but I do know the eponymous farmer wasn’t so lucky in one hand and exited first from the final table after someone had a much better hand than his.

Twiz was next out, flushed by Nick and then the shit really hit the fan. Kapow, Oooooof, biffo, it was anarchy, chips flying in every which way… raise, re-raise, ALL-IN CALL CALL!! Wino v Gideon v Martin. Wino tabled AK of hearts, Gideon clearly assuming the lord was still on his side showed 2-2, leaving Martin’s Q-Q in great shape. Queen high flop and the turn and river both blanks and we were down to 5. I wasn’t even involved but lord be my witness the adrenalin was pumping now, I had rarely felt so alive and it wasn't over yet by jingo.

I had hardly caught my breath in fact by the time Pete had his chips in the middle too!! Although to be fair this was between 40 minutes to an hour later, I just didn’t have my inhaler with me. Pete 's 4-4 was in poor shape against Paul of Peros’ Q-Q and even Buddha was unable to influence the outcome and we were four handed.

Not many flops were being seen at this point, mostly just raise and take it stuff, and I then took an ill timed visit to the toilet as Joey got busy being knocking himself out of the tournament. I shall confess I may have made it back in time to witness his demise, but I spent a couple of minutes making lion noises to myself in the mirror. Let’s just say for the sake of posterity that Joey got his chips in the middle with 10-10 and Martin rivered a straight after calling a 30,000 bet with 8-2 off-suit. Something cool like that.

Down to three and again it was mostly the pre-flop raiser who took the pot down. We were waiting for two big hands to collide like Lucky Jim trying to catch a cricket ball and the inevitable occurred presently. It was a race – Paul of Peros with 3-3 against the big slick of young Nick. Ace on the flop though and we were heads-up.

With not much occurring during the early exchanges and the chip stacks roughly even, Nick or "Nikoli" went all Russian on us and offered up poker’s equivalent to Perestroika with a proposal the money be split. A leftie, pinko, communist gesture compatible with the global economic mood at present and Martin agreed. Glasnost was the winner, but although no one won or lost in financial terms, the remaining points were still up for grabs and a penalty shoot-out was to ensue to settle the matter.

Ever since young Martin regaled me with tales of his school days where he would play conkers in the school playground on a cold misty autumnal morning before scampering indoors as the morning bell rang to then embark on a terrifying anti-semetic baiting of his Jewish teacher by leading his class mates in five minutes of solid Seig Hailing, I suspected his heritage was Teutonic in flavour and so it proved as he showed nerves of steal to win the tournament via the penalty shoot-out against hapless Russian defector Nikoli Dobsononovic 2-1.

Boomp3.com

League Table inc. 13/10/08 £20 re-buy

2008-10-14T03:30:00.000+01:00

League Table as of right now

2008-10-07T17:02:00.000+01:00

At this time I'd like to call for a ban on all religious trinkets and the use of witch craft during tournament play. It freaks me out.

AGM and upcoming games

2008-09-30T16:29:00.002+01:00

I'll be honest with you, while I was physically at the AGM, I do not remember it. I'm afraid I was struck down with some sort of rare tropical form of lassa fever and was unable to concentrate. However, I'll make some stuff up just cause I feel I should.

It was decided that pretty much everything will stay the same, and some other stuff. Chris, Pete, Matt will be doing stuff as will Jimbo and myself. We'll all be doing something. I Just can't be specific at this time as to what. But it will be something awesome.

Upcoming games are as follows:-

October

6th - £40 freeze-out, Hold 'em - Buy-in will be £50 as it's a food night

*Oh yes, I remember this. The first Monday of the month game, usually a £10 re-buy will now be a £40 freeze-out. The buy-in will incorporate an extra £10. £8 for food and £2 for the high hand. No admin fee will be incurred.

13th - £20 re-buy, Hold 'em.

20th - ANNUAL CUP - £5 re-buy, Hold 'em with £5 bounty

27th - £50 + 1 re-buy + top-up, Hold 'em

November

3rd - £40 freeze-out - £50 buy-in see above,* Hold 'em

10th - £10 re-buy, Hold 'em

17th - £25 freeze-out, Hold 'em

24th - £20 re-buy, Omaha

December

1st - £40 freeze-out - £50 buy-in see above,* Hold 'em

8th - £100 Freeze-out, Hold 'em

15th - £20 Christmas Dealers Choice shenanigans.

* * *

I will update the league for week 5 when I can drive again. Possibly tomorrow.

Windrush Valley Card Club Message Board

2008-09-24T16:39:00.000+01:00

Alan has very awesomely set up a message board forum for our wee club. This will give us a vehicle to abuse each other seven days a week and allow us to enter Poker Forum team events which we'd obviously take down with ease.

Forum can be found here - Windrush Valley Card Club Forum

League table as of September 23rd

2008-09-24T01:12:00.000+01:00

League table as of September 16th

2008-09-23T17:26:00.000+01:00

I don't have the results from Monday's game (22nd) as I had to rush off early because I'd left my washing out, bloody rain! As of week 3 Gideon who doth trumpet people to death is still winning, but probably Chris is going to win again this year so shall we all not bother?

Next week is the AGM, people - that's the 29th so show up early - 6.30pm start. You will surrender your future complaining rights if you're not there I'm afraid.

The story of Gideon

2008-09-15T02:00:00.000+01:00

"The Midianites were in utter confusion, and Gideon won an easy victory" - Judges 6 and 7

League Table as of September 9th

AGM cancelled due to sticky wicket

2008-09-14T23:29:00.000+01:00

The AGM was canceled because the conditions were too moist and because no one bothered to show up. It was determined however that Jimbo has three nipples.

A new date for the AGM might possibly be Monday September 29th, although I may have made that up.

AGM - Sunday

2008-09-12T16:44:00.000+01:00

The AGM will take place at 6pm Sunday September 14th. That's 18 hundred hours for those of you who watch too many war films.

Please attend if you can, you can miss going to B&Q just this once.

Also, the emails for upcoming games will continue.

The End.

September games and AGM

2008-09-02T01:06:00.000+01:00

New season now people and the emailing will soon cease and this website will be your source of all things WV Card Cluby and pokery.

September's scheduled games are as follows (All games begin 8pm SHARP!):

September 1st - £10 re-buy with food. Free buffet for anyone bringing a new player

September 8th - £50 freezout

September 15th - £20 re-buy + £20 bounty (£40 buy-in in total)

September 22nd - £50 freezeout

September 29th - £40 freezeout with "Lucky 6" £20 bounty (£60 buy-in in total)*

*all players names will be placed in a hat and six drawn - these players will have the bounty on their heads. Bounty will be £100. Subject to change.

* * *

Annual General Meeting

The new season's AGM will be held on Sunday 14th of September at 6pm. There may be just be a chance for some jiggery pokery after the meeting.

If you have any issues you would like raising at this meeting either mention them at the games prior to the AGM or send them to the email address on this website.

Splendid.

Now then people

2008-07-01T05:28:00.000+01:00

Good day to you. So, due to Mel moving to one her majesties colonies soon, the weekly emailing and league compilation and what not has passed to me. I can't be doing with all that so we'll be using this blog come website instead.

Once we've circulated the address to enough members the emails will stop and you'll be able to just visit us here for news on forthcoming tournaments, league standings, random poker news and gossip and possibly some nice recipes.

There's an email address too for us on the right somewhere for you know, emailing in and that.

Rich Stevenson "little dick"