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Season Finale and League Table update inc. July 27th £30 freeze-out

With my deepest apologies for tardiness, here is the updated league table. We have four games remaining before the Grand Finale which will be held the Monday following the August bank holiday which, if my calendar is anything like yours, will be Monday September 4th.

In order to qualify for the final you must have played at least 9 games. League points will be converted into chips using the Duckworth Lewis method, players will also have the option of purchasing 5,000 further chips for a measly £50.

Any other business

A meeting was held in my house last night between me and my conscience and it was decreed that under no circumstances will the player Richard J. Stevenson, aka, "Little Dick," aka "Golden Delicious," aka "WarBwastard," aka, "Asno" and all other aliases known or unknown, be permitted to partake in any sports or proposition wagering § or card games ‡ where English monies are staked, while under the influence of Rosè.

Any attempts by said player to place wagers or partake in card games where English monies have been or can be staked will result in the player being thrown in the river for his own good whether he can swim or not and whether he's wearing his best clothes or not.


‡- Card games in this instance is a blanket term for any game or games known at this time or unknown which involve one or a number of card or cards of a standard deck of playing card or multiple decks.

§ - Proposition wagering in this instance include all pub games, for example: Spoof, Liars Dice and olive eating competitions and certainly anything that involves darts..and all other games known or unknown - also any project, task, idea, assertion or statement that might reasonably lead to the loss of money or monies and dignity through speculation, gambling or forecasting.

Motion carried.

Tonight's game will be a £30 freeze-out - with buffet at the break. £40 buy-in - 5,000 starting chips. There will be a moment's silence before the game begins as my head still hurts from last week's Rosè challenge.

Kathryn hides her face in shame after surrendering what appeared to be an unassailable lead while an looker, oblivious to the humiliation, falls asleep.

JJ Hazen on Dragon's Den tonight asking for £65,000 to stake him in poker tournaments.  Should be interesting.  Don't fancy his chances.

It's now 9.50am on Wednesday. I just woke up. I got home and went to bed at 9am Tuesday. Dear Lord our God, if wine be the blood of Christ your son, then he needs a fucking transfusion. It's Holy alright, holy fucking shit!!

Thanks to a few sociable glasses of Rosè, I've lost a day and a half of my life. Who knows what I might have achieved in that time? The last thing I remember is busting out of the cash-game with 6 high and a little bit of poo coming out from laughing as Jimbo announced a near stampede had occurred when Kathryn had gone off to lick her wound.

I haven't had a hang-over this brutal since Vegas when I was in such poor shape I looked in the mirror and could see through me. I'm afraid I have no idea who won the tournament on Monday, or who was in it so I can't update the league table.

If anyone has seen my telephone and a grey hiking sock please let me know. I'm officially on the wagon now for at least six months. My the Lord have mercy on my soul.


Amen.

With only six or seven games left in the season, I forget which, it's all getting very very very interesting at the top of the table with Chris Peros ahead but some other people fairly close. Who will win out? Who, who?

In other news, the £5 re-buy went ahead last week, but it may be changed next month as it's a bit shit. I shall try and offer up more than a few hours notice if it does change.

Sport now, England were lucky as fuck to escape with a draw in the first test match and ruin my bet, but had to resort to underhand time wasting tactics by constantly bringing their physio onto the pitch who had disgusting man boobs.

Finally the weather, it was a bit chilly earlier.

There's been a military style coup! Consequently, tonight's £5 re-buy will almost certainly be replaced with a £30 freeze-out with a £10 bounty. Your buy-in will therefore be £42. Starting chips of 5,000. You will receive a £10 bounty for every player you bust.

Apologies for the short notice, but these uprisings typically arrive with little or no notice. We feel it's for the best though. Good luck with all your bets.

Congratulations to Twiz are in order as Keltic Lord won today at Perth leading from start to finish.

And they're off..and Keltic Lord is prominent

19 fences later - Winner!

Celebrating with a bucket of water to the cock. The horse not Twiz.
Maybe Twiz too actually, off camera though thankfully.